Voldo (Soul Calibur) & Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter)

Voldermort was not having a good day. The Golden Trio had managed to find yet another one of his Horcruxes, and he felt the inevitable coming closer.

What he couldn’t quite understand was how the nosy little brats had managed to find yet another part of his soul.. How big is the chance that they found this unbelievably dangerous artifact that could possibly end the life of the most powerful dark-wizard in existence.. in their own school? He though had found such a good hiding place..

Voldermort cocked his head slightly to the side and reached out to the silver goblet of wine on the small table to his right. He was seated in a perfectly gloomy part of his favorite graveyard; where the tombstones were extra dark and depressing and where the sun always had for some profound reason, it extra difficult to actually shed its beams. The dark lord slowly massaged his temple as he grabbed a hold of the silver goblet and let out a sigh. Suddenly he was thrown into a wirl-pool of chaos, as he was transported away from his surroundings and hurled through space and time to a destination unknown. The nose-less wizard cursed as he realized what he had just done. Earlier that day, the useless rodent Peter Pettigrew had brought forth a worthless Port Key had had found while out doing some meaningless task that The Lord had given him. Voldemort cursed over his own stupid blunder as he continued to spin towards whatever destination the Silver Goblet was dragging him to.

His violent trip came to a sudden holt as he plummeted to the ground and landed with a loud thud. How utterly embarrassing! As he gathered himself together, he thought up an immense list of ways to kill off any spectators that may have seen his abashing landing. As he gingerly stood up he noticed that there wouldn’t be any need for a murderous rampage – which in all earnestly disappointed him slightly.

The place he had landed in was neither full of people or in any way possible to conceal hiding spectators. He was standing in the middle of a rock cave with cracked walls that radiated immense heat. He was just about to flick his wand at the Port Key to reverse the transportation spell and return home to the wonderfully depressing graveyard when a sudden crackling could be heard behind him.

The Dark Wizard slowly turned towards the source of the sound and was gazing down at a extremely disfigured individual with foot-long knives attached to his hands and a rather odd attire. The figure stood in a position where his head was close to touching his back as he slowly swayed back and forth.

The man(?), who’s name Voldermort would never learn (it’s Voldo btw), took a rather crooked step towards the Dark Wizard.

He let out a rather disturbing groan as he continued moving over the room.

The sickly groaning and hissing made by the twisted man sent a wave of shivers down Voldermorts spine. The hissing sounded quite like the language his beloved snake Nagini spoke in, and this combined with his odd gait was strangely… arousing.

And who could blame him? It’s not like the guy could easily sign up on Cupid.com or any wizard dating services.. and just because he is the feared, savage and all-powerful Dark Wizard to have ever walked this earth didn’t mean he’s doesn’t feel.. you know. Sometimes.

Since the following scene would, if explained, be all around too disturbingly stomach-hurling, gruesomely dreadful and downright atrocious.. I shall spare you from the experience of wanting to gash out your own eyes and rip of your ears after hearing what actually went down in the volcano cave.

Since I, unlike Lord Voldemort, am in a good mood today.

Skriven 23 juli 2011